i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
I remember three things: you falling down an entire flight of stairs, me stripping out of your Christmas one-sie to do cartwheels in my underwear, and people standing above me saying, "where did that bump on her head come from?"
Also, I was told I kept the antlers on the entire time. I'm deeming last night a success.
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
I am not saying having unprotected sex in my boss' pool was a good idea, I am just saying it wasn't my worst idea of the summer.
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
8 stitches. Next time I decide to twerk while doing a keg stand, stop me.
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
Dude, fuck these noisy kids, fuck all this light, and fuck you for getting to sleep while I have to be productive and hungover.
Apparently someone was hiding in a storm drain dressed as Pennywise from it and offering passersby free penis enlargement pills.
I think I gotta smoke less weed, I'm getting to lazy to fuck my girlfriend
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