there is a school bus full of santas parked in front of the liquor store
you stole their roomba and ran out the door so that you could 'set it free'.
we found you passed out on lawn and the roomba bouncing back and forth on the sidewalk.
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
You cuddled up under the blanket because you said it smelled like Santa and vodka.
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
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