dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
We just got home. I got some malt liqour and a lottery ticket so I'm really doing a lot with my life right now
On a scale of "impaired judgement" to "Mel Gibson," how drunk are you?
Toaster
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
I may have just made our entire microwave glow green. Like big green. Like spark and make me shit green.
Like worse than the time I blew up the microwave with the egg green.
Right now, there's some ten year old kid getting ready to go outside and play basketball. He will soon find out his basketball hoop was no match for my car.
Swish.
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
Randomize
