i think my tv is drunk
Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
I sometimes forget that turkeys are alive even when its not Thanksgiving.
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
Siri just reminded me to pickup Plan B
Just had a horrible realization. I've fucked a guy with a webbed foot AND a guy with a third nipple.
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
Isn't it my whole life blown into this perfect spoon shaped piece of melted and artificially colored sand?
Wow.
I just realized I'm currently not eating carbs, drinking alcohol or having sex. 2014 is off to a horrible start.
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
Randomize
