dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
i just remembered the time you guys tried to give me an intervention because i was drunk before 5 on a monday
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
I just want to drink cheap wine and throw my bra at an aging singer songwriter
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
If he knew how badly I want to blow him he’d stop talking about his wife
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