I wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commercials.
You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
i'd fuck the guy who invented dead baby jokes.
Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
the hot lifeguard just pulled a McDonald's cheeseburger out of her fanny pack.
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
you woke me up at 1am last night high on cough syrup to tell me jay z was an idiot for cheating on beyonce
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
Randomize
