i can hardly tell the difference between falling asleep and passing out anymore
His drunken night ended with a "car accident" which really meant he was stuck in a toy car and pushed down the steps.
I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
It's "your husband had his mouth on my vagina" awkward.
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
My boob is missing a layer of skin
If this were a real emergency kilted men wielding claymores and riding giant badgers would hve rescued said Guinness. So clearly this is just a hypothetical
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
You are, as of last night, the self declared king of pooping. Long may you reign.
Randomize
