another moral hangover. fuck.
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
As if me making pizza in a skillet wasn't enough proof that I was in no state to be cooking, this burn blister on my hand is
I broke up with him in the bar & then asked him if he wanted to have a contest to see who gets the most numbers. I say I took that break up well
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
THERE IS A VERY SMALL CHILD YELLING OUTSIDE OF MY DOOR. THE NEXT TIME YOU TELL ME YOUR TOO BIG FOR A CONDOM I'M GOING TO PUNCH YOU IN THE DICK.
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
I have 2 voicemails from u last night. one of them is just 5 min of u saying "doodling"...
This is an alert from the drunk police: you have reached the point of no return. Text messages past this point are illegible.
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
I puked on someone's floor last night and then they proceeded to ask me on a date.
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
Randomize
