I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
I just sneezed everywhere.....everywhere. Now no one will talk to me.
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
He's coming back with me for the week. It took me saying "I don't wanna drive myself home... I'm better as a passenger giving road head" for him to jump at it. Rack another one up for my magical openings.
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
But you're the one who should be jamming foreign objects into my vaj instead of an old weird lady. I mean, it is your birthday....
Why is there broken glass in my purse?
You stole a snow globe. From your VP. Soooo...maybe don't put all your hopes on that promotion you were expecting
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
I tried to cut you?! I'm sorry! PS where's my hair?
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
Randomize
