his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
I literally just ordered a gold medal online that is engraved with his name, "01.01.16", and "BEST SEX EVER"
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
I want to shoot him sideways (so he can still breathe) in the Adam's apple with my little crossbow.
Randomize
