I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
you went over to those random dudes and told them you were an ordained minister and would like to bless their food. they laughed and agreed, then you said "now bow your heads in prayer" as soon as they did you grabbed a taco off their tray and bolted out the door.
The bartender asked if I wanted a to-go cup for my crown and coke.....I just realized I'm back in Montana and fuck did I miss home.
Ugh. I guess I'm crying loudly or something. My mom just came in and gave me milk, chocolate, a Xanax, and her weed "for the break up blues". Her ways of affection are so odd.
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
I can't believe i just offerred a guy a burrito and head, and got turned down. Officially celibate now.
Was Mr. ROBOT good? I missed it. I just fucked dental hygienist on the trampoline in my backyard
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
Dude I used amphetamines responsibly today though. I snorted one in the am for work and then chewed one in the pm for other work. I'm an adult.
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
Randomize
