Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
I'll have to explain it to you tonight when i call drunk. It will sound better
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
Petty good. I just stapled a 5 dollar bill onto the chest of a sword swallower.
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
She was wearing my robin hood hat from Halloween shouting "steal from the rich and give to the poor, mothafuckaaaaas." We are taking her everywhere.
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
Randomize
