So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
High enough to ask the woman at best buy if she ever feels like she's swimming. and telling the man outside that he smells like happy juice.
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
woke with Taco Bell next to me in bed and people's shoe sizes written on my arm.
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
What the hell did you do last night?
I embarrassed myself, my family, name, and possibly my country.
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
Randomize
