Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
I'm not inviting you over anymore if my cat keeps ending up in the freezer...
She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
It looks like the misc $300 credit card fraud might have been our taxi cab driver who wouldn't take boobs as payment. No wonder...
There is a drunk marine passed out on my porch. Mandy wouldn't sleep with him, Can you please come remove him?
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
We found him. He was passed out in a McDonalds booth with at least 6 big Mac wrappers. The employee said he kept yelling that he was in America and had the freedom to have big macs. Fucking Italians...
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
Just woke up from an extremely erotic dream featuring Steve Buscemi. Now I can't sleep.
The coke machine at work is laughing at me. Literally. I just heard laughter from the coke machine
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
Randomize
