Ok let me ask a question, does aderall make women less apt to have sex?
Cause it just destroys penises
Was that inappropriate? I can't gauge these things anymore
I just woke up on my kitchen floor using a yellow pages as a pillow and surrounded by plants that used to be in the garden around my apt building, can't wait to see the security tapes for my eviction
he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
WHAT? When did I ever refer to one of my past hookups as "the rainforest guy"?
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
He returned my car yesterday. Found a duffel bag with beef jerky, condoms, and a handgun this morning. Slightly concerned
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
I can't find my keys and there's a hotdog in my purse.
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
Guess who's now on the no-fly list? If you guessed me, you'd be right.
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