Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
i just sent my parents are gone come over I have condoms to my mom because Derek changed my numbers while I was passed out
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
Remind me to never go to the bar with your Asian friends again. I need to be able to read or pronounce what I'm drinking.
I just met his wife...she told me they have been having marriage problems and are spending his paychecks on marriage counseling...then she cried on my shoulder...NOW i feel like a bitch.
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
I just want you to know you're the worst sister ever.
If this is about me and your ex, it's not my fault she doesn't like men.
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