He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
Slept on the counter again. Mom covered me in an apron.
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
The cop looked me right in the eye and apologized for cock blocking me.
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
I gave him a hand job in the parking lot... now he thinks we're meant for each other...
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