I puked last after eating a volcano taco and drinking vodka. I felt like a fucking dragon.
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
#1 benefit of having an equality sticker on my car: some girl flashed me while i was driving home
I'm going to make an art book filled with pics of me peeing in every bar bathroom I've ever been in. Dedicating it to you. You're welcome.
My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away
I need a burrito and a hug.
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
I had to steal sneakers from my man of the night. I dipped. But then realized I left my purse in his house. So I had to stash the shoes in some bushes and wait for him on the stoop. Then after he watches me leave, I run back and get the shoes cuz I didn't wanna be taking my hour long journey home through London at 3 pm in my six inch wedges and club dress
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
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