just tell him i said nine months
Instead of asking if I had a condom she literally said " I'm not on the pill but I'm pro choice... your move"... I'm in love
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
My brain is foggy with friends reruns and him licking hummus off my tits.
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
I got punched in the face by a Cowboy last night. Then he bought me a beer cause o convinced security not to kick him out the bar. Start of a fairytale love story? I think so.
I'm eating ramen over the toilet. Fuck my life
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
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