Trust me, I wear more condoms than socks. I wouldn't risk infecting my cock. It's my livelyhood.
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
I had to sleep with my math professor to pass algebra. Apparently my blowjobs are only C+ quality
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
Doing lines of cocaine in the bathroom and the word 'better' do not belong in the same sentence.
Yeah...I know. It's cute I think...I mean cute in a weird like hey I kinda took you home from the bar one night, maybe criticized your penis, and fucked your brains out...kinda sorta way
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
Chipotle just hit me... I want to go sit in the corner of the shower and cry until morning.
Bless her heart. Her stupid, drunk, adderall-ed heart.
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
I'm not complaining, but why is it that every time I hang out with you I come home with random injuries and random girls?
My New Year's resolution consists of less weekday hangovers, more sex, and more money.
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
Randomize
