Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
I think I am morally bankrupt
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
i woke up in his bed to a "teach your baby to read" infomercial. i pray to GOD that's not a sign
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
Okay good. And who the fuck put a condom on my foot. That shit hurt
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
what's the name of the guy at the bank you blew to get the lower interest rate?
um. wrong number, but good luck with your loan
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
Well THAT'S the last time I buy beer and baby wipes in the same Walmart run ... just wanted to shout I USE THEM TO REMOVE MY MAKEUP, YOU ASSHOLES
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
Also I'm at the pub and there are old lady pirates gyrating on a pole. I wish you were here.
Apparently this establishment won't let you rent a sailboat if you have been drinking rum all morning
Like, bro, how do you think I got the idea to go sailing
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
Randomize
