i just realized that no matter how many potstickers i eat, i will never be asian
I just saw a man with a full beard and frosted tips
there is no god
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
So he drunk messaged me last night telling me he wants a baby. Think I should call his bluff?
Did you send me a snapchat of your sister triple kissing two other girls?!!! You might be the greatest friend the world ever made
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
Never go with a hippy to a second location. I fucking hate Xanax.
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
Randomize
