do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
you convinced me to pee myself because I was wearing dark jeans.
pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
All I remember is lecturing my dog about how she's a lucky bitch to have a structured eating and shitting schedule.
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
She shit all over my seat. She is not allowed in my car under any circumstances. Not even with drugs. You can't forgive a shit.
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
What's the best day of the week to potentially find out you're pregnant with your ex's baby?
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
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