No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
I already ran out of vodka but I have more beer. I just ran naked into the high school party down the street as took all theirs. ...figured no one wants to tackle the naked guy..
Power went out. She lit a candle and gave me head. Made some pretty impressive candlelight cocksucking shadowpuppets. Must be what porn was like in olden times.
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
I decided to let him keep the rest of my good weed as an "I'm sorry for being a drunk ass ho" consolation prize.
Aaaaaaaand dick pic. God bless america, and god bless tinder.
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
Unfortunately i'm awake, hungover, and covered in something I'm pretty sure is Easy Cheese. Send help.
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
Randomize
