i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
He talks to me in this sweet I know you might be pregnant voice.
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
Don't ask me how, but I have a squirrel in my backpack and I don't know what to do with it.
Pretty sure the nurse said at one point I was in full restraints because I tried surfing my stretcher
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
He can only pee with the faucet running. It's like I'm dating a fucking toddler.
We tried the hang n bang, remember? You ruined it by crying and telling me you loved me while blowing me.
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
Randomize
