My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
Hungover. Be in at noonish. Turn my monitor on and put a hot cup of coffee on my desk so the boss thinks I'm in
Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
I'm gonna stay in bed all day and watch porn in an attempt to stay warm.
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
The roommate asked me to make sure no one fucked in his room. And then preceded to give only me permission to fuck in his room. Had no idea who I was, just thought I was trustworthy cause I had Edward 40 hands. Felt like a Tarantino movie.
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
Thank god I work in a lab. This pinkeye is out of control and my safety glasses are the only thing stopping me from digging at my eye with a pen
I was giving this fat lawyer a table dance and he asked me if I would be willing to play with his long, hard stick of the law. And you want me to stop drinking at work?
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