Something in my vomit makes me think I shouldn't have had that slurpee
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
I smuggled my gin and tonic out of the bar by shoving the glass in my pocket...mistakes were inevitable.
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
Finally hooked up w/ that yoga instructor chick. Got a little more than I expected. Like a full on bush more than I expected. How do you tell a girl that her bush scares you?
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
The words "me," "sober," and "new years eve" do not go together. Ever.
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
I found my parents stash of sex toys. You know my green one? My mom has it...in purple. I HAVE THE SAME VIBRATOR AS MY MOTHER
Randomize