ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
And I just had to awkwardly tell 3 police officers that I was having sex and not in any trouble
Me and this random chick had a conversation about how to save the world. 2 words: Dance. Battles. I love drunk heart to hearts in bar bathrooms.
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
She pulled up to the bar in a limo, wasted, and alone. Gets out, shrugs and slurs "I couldn't find a cab" and proceeds to take a shot.
I'm in love.
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
I feel like a pile of chihuahua shit that got eaten by a Great Dane who puked it up and then set it on fire.
My sex toys have been held in customs for almost a month now. They're British, what the hell?!?
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
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