I just saw a commercial that said "call your doctor if erections last more than 4 hours". I said "disgusting" and my mom said "I know, i hate when that happens." Get me out of here.
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
He told me he wanted to show me something beautiful, then just started peeing off the bridge into oncoming traffic
I will kill you in such a brutal way if you ever de-pants me again on the dance floor it will make the stock market ticker
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
He's so vague sometimes. Like dude, we've been friends for 3 years. I don't need you to be vague, I need you to be inside of my vagina.
I woke up in a chipotle parking lot with an industrial sized box of condoms and a bag of dounut holes. I need Jesus
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