Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
My coke dealer 411'd my work number just to see how I was doing and gave me his new number. He must miss my business
Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
He's scared I want a relationship? How does texting him at three am and sleeping with four of my exes symbolize that?
Do you think the firemen will remember me?
Yes. But you were sloppy, sobbing, and puked on two of them. You won't get in their pants.
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
Randomize
