Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
Im so tired of dysfunctional exs fucking up my relationships with future dysfunctional exs
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
I'm so high that I'm intently watching my neighbor move his car back and forth in order to put his motorcycle in the garage, and getting irritated that it seems so complicated.
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
I've never known a porn star before
There's not even an emoji for this
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
Randomize
