Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
I just found a dead bug in my nose. if that's the worst thing up there im considdering myself lucky.
just woke up and this girl had my cellphone nestled in the front of her thong. i kept thinking "is this a trap?"
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
It was only 12:11 and I needed to make a Pepto Latte and call it a night, I don't remember that being part of my new years resolution.
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
Randomize
