What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
please stop telling ppl youre Alice Cullen when youre drunk
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
Threesome in a minivan. New low
Fire alarms went off at reception of gay wedding im at. We all had to evacuate until FD got here. Then...ill just text the photos.
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
CALL 911 HAND IS STUCK IN THE GARBAGE DISPOSAL. HELP
Do we still have any pizza left from last night?
So don't be alarmed when you go into your bathroom, he's sleeping in the tub with your brothers dinosaurs. also I'll clean up the sticky floor later. (you don't wanna know)
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
It is getting ridiculous, the elaborateness of the schemes I have to concoct so my suitemates don't know I'm pooping.
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
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