Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
i am so afraid to go to the bathroom. i am afraid i am going to fall asleep on the toillet.
Special does not even begin to describe that text.
My doctor just informed me that my food allergies qualify me for a medical marijuana license. I get it on Tuesday. It won't help at all, but my life is awesome!
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
WAIT U DIDN'T FEED THE SQUIRREL?
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
Apparently I mistakenly called the hair club for men at 3am... they called me back this morning.
Sorry for trying to give you my dresser last night. Are any of the drawers still in your car?
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
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