hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
You know where a good place to spend summer is? In your head. High as shit. It doesn't matter where you are.
I woke up on the dog bed, bottle of alcohol still in hand and my thong was hanging off the family portrait.... Yikes
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
I'm gonna take a crap in the portashitter like a civilized human being.
I am lonely and hungry. I need a girlfriend, but I'd settle for my mom.
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
Whenever I have a bad day I just look at the negetive pregnancy test I keep in my purse and remind myself things could be alot worse.
Hi I am on my way. I stopped and got the cheeseburger you asked for. Are you gonna pay me back?
Who is this?
Randomize
