walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
Ate lunch. Still drunk. Keep forgetting I'm in Texas but then I look around at the people and remember.
My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
Pretty good. They took the stitches out but it still hurts like a bitch. The doctor says I should be off crutches by next week.
Well, that's good. Let's hope drunk you doesn't sabotage you.
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
i believe in u and ur pee
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
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