she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
So we were banging and she started puking all over my bed. I'm not sure what's worse, her puking, or that I felt the urge to start singing Flip-adelphia.
How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
We got the possum out of our house. We built a maze with our empty kegs and chased it with brooms.
It was your ex but it was not eighties night, it was pudding wrestling. And either thank you or I'm sorry depending on the state of my pants left on the doorstep
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
I planned to shave today but it's Friday the 13th I might cut something
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
I watched my wife kick balloons while wearing thigh highs. It's not a sentence you get to use too often
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