And I just remember seeing him for the first time and being like, who is this ape of a man? Like legit he could be the missing link
just started drinking the sprite you used to ice your crotch last night. Missing you already
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
He just told me that when we were doing it I told him I was the captain and he was the boat. Im too embarassed to ask for money for a cab.
I'm going to have to start playing roller derby again so I can blame my sex-related bruises on that.
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
She is the absolute last thing I would want to screw. Honestly. Fellating a porcupine. Higher on the list.
Apparently he got pepper spray on his dick. So he's a literal fire crotch.
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
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