I think the waitress doesn't beleive I have friends coming. I've had 4 drinks and a large salad just waiting for you guys.
Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
I want to do something romantic. Like gargle champagne before I put your dick in my mouth.
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
I'm pretty sure at any given moment you could wring out my liver and get a couple of shots of jäger.
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
I offered to lick your vagina while wearing a suit... Pretty sure chivalry is well alive.
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
He asked if I was alright. I said "Yeah, I'm just an incapacitated ball of orgasmic bliss right now."
The longer the dick, the closer to Jesus when you’re on top.
Randomize
