This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
I thought he wouldn't talk to me again. You know, what's that saying "why buy the cow when you can fuck it six hours after meeting"
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
He stole me a cantaloupe and we drunkenly broke into a park and ate it on a bench with my pocket knife. I think i need to marry him
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
I got some blow and a hand job from one of the strippers. So I guess I'm getting over the divorce.
Randomize
