My little sister just found a condom in her bag i borrowed... Happy fourteenth birthday.
Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
I'm counting my small victories this morning. For instance, I haven't puked at work yet.
If u ever apologize to me for "too-rough" sex again I will suspend ur all-access pass to my vagina indefinitely
Why did I wake up to a snap chat of myself drinking beer out of a blender?
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
Not sure if buying Twisted Teas for the alcoholics posted up outside the gas station counts as paying it forward but I am optimistic.
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
Randomize
