Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
you can't tell me you didn't shit your pants I saw them in the trash can by the bathroom.
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
STOP TRYING TO FUCK MY DAD
THE HOT GUY IS YOUR DAD?!?!?!?!???
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
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