Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
When you wake up, I have rum and am in town
I went outside for a smoke at 4 and things seemed normal. It's 6 now and the front lawn is COVERED in tortilla chips. WTF?
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
I would literally rather jam a rusty rail road spike into my cock than be here right now. The whore showed up and now I might smash my iPhone into my face repeatedly until I'm no longer consisting of any sort of life.
Pretty sure that I got the MVP of wedding reception... woke up on the bench in the hallway of a hotel and we did NOT start the night there.
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
I had to replace her wine with red vitamin water. So if she’s alive, you can thank me
My dad is sitting where you rode me
Randomize
