it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
I thought I was invisible, then some guy flashed his high beams at me and I realized my lights weren't on...not invisible.
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
Please come and kill me with a brick you dont even have to be nice about it just smash myfucking skull in this is the worst hangover ive had for at least a week
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
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