Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
Its okay I walked into your house, searched for my wallet in your purse, and took a shot of Tequilia all without eye contact, right?
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
I'm out of prison. Wanna start a band?
I want to get a list going called "D list celebs I've kissed"
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
My ex's girlfriend just invited me clubbing. Guess who won the breakup?
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
Randomize
