What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
It was like a mary poppins bag, except a sexual mary poppins bag.
I woke up with my 26er down my pants and a peice of paper stuck to my forehead with gum that said "tell it to the greek goddess beside me"
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
So im walking through ohare and this guy walks by with a cart full of big bottles of liquor. I want to know what flight hes on.
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
Jungle juice turns everything into a pickup line. All I said was "do you play chess" and somehow I got laid.
Is there a classy way to tell him that to thank him for his service I would like to put his dick in my mouth?
"Happy Veterans Day! Now pull down your pants."
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
Randomize
