i only shaved half my leg
on purpose
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
Last night must have been awesome, my dog still smells like vomit.
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
Eliza got arrested. What's the protocol on eating an arrested person's sandwich?
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
She sneezed like 10 times, put her head down on the table and then laid down on their couch and fell asleep. In the middle of the dominoes game. I'll never understand why my dad continues to provide my mom wine.
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
don’t ask me. i snorted coke off of a pregnancy test box last night. i obviously don’t make the best life choices.
Randomize
