There were 3 chicks in my bed I didn't know when I got home. Now I know all of them. Biblically.
i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
If I get laid, we are framing that mattress and hanging it on the wall as the place we both lost our virginities.
You stuck your entire fist into a full jar of peanut butter and starting assaulting people
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
That accounts for only three of the penises
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
Sad realization: so long as I use this sleep apnea machine, I will never be the little spoon!
too bad burritos don't cuddle back
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
Randomize
