why wash my dick in the morning if you're not there to suck it?
Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
I think my liver has finally had enough and is going all Ashley-Judd-in-a-Lifetime-movie on me.
I have to choose between charging my phone or my vibrator. This is bullshit.
We told him to puke in the Denny's parking lot or we wouldn't be his friend anymore. So he did. He wasn't even drunk.
Randomize
