No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
They need to add a relationship status option on fb that says "having the baby of..."
Ketchup is God's man juice
my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
he threw his shirt and suit jacket out the window of the uber going home
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
I blacked out after the piñata full of condoms
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