Great. There's a birthday party at work today. Now I can stand around and feel uncomfortable for an hour.
we were having sex in the bathroom when his aunt knocked on the door
and rather than go out and meet her, i climbed out the window. so now she thinks he was masturbating and moaning his own name in a really girly voice
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
I thought it went well, but he just sent me a video of me sucking an icicle on the fire escape of his building with the caption "The ice got more than I did." Somehow I feel like I owe him a blowjob.
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
My heart feels like a grape in a barrel about to be crushed into wine
I heard drunk is the new sober. I heard me say that. To a cop. Can you come get me??
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
I can still taste the Jäger. I'm gonna shoot myself.
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
Randomize
