He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
Do you think I can wear the dress I went to jail in with the shoes I went to prom in to the wedding tonight?
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
we didn't even throw knives this time! it was just the carrot peeler
You know you've made it in life when the people in the next stall are cheering on your orgasm
My mom is coming to visit today & it's giving me anxiety. I feel like she can see through me & into the whore I've become.
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
Randomize
